Observations & Commentary

Month: January, 2014

The Follow Up. Something to Try.

In my last post I discussed a few issues within the world of marijuana smoking and alcohol drinking. Now, to help with some of those issues, I found a couple of posts that suggest some interesting tips and solutions.

Lenny with Hail Mary Jane helps with the drug of choice being marijuana, and Nathalie Vassallo with the Huffington Post, “What I Learned From ‘Sober October’“, talks about alcohol.

Lenny tells of “10 Ways to Conserve Your Weed“. And I found it interesting because number one is one of which I just recently discovered, and talked about in my last post.

Number one is “save your roaches”. When I experienced people scrambling for the roaches to make a blunt, I saw it as desperation. However, I suppose if the saving of roaches is done with means of conservation, and not in a way where, “oh we’re out of weed, so let’s find some around the house”, then fine.

I found number two to be particularly relatable and very useful, and able to be applied to many other things, and that is “cut off your scavenger friends”. Lenny wrote, “I find that when you share you develop good weed karma and when you don’t have any, often people will come through for you.” This is true, but it is also true that always trying to make sure everyone else is good will put you in the hole. [I experienced this freshman year when I would want to drink, but I didn’t want to drink by myself — so I would make sure to get enough for everyone.]

One of his best suggestions is to “stop smoking for a while”. Hell, stop smoking period, I say! But you know, “a while” will do.

Now, those are just three of his suggests, obviously, so be sure to check his post out for the rest, “10 Ways to Conserve Your Weed“.

As for Nathalie Vassallo and “What I Learned From ‘Sober October’“, she provides a nice experience of hers, giving good insight into the world of drinking and socialization.

Nathalie and her girlfriend recognized the excessive drinking habits, constant need to drink during social times, and what not. So, they decided to participate in “Sober October”.

“I had trouble recalling the last day I passed on a glass of wine or a cocktail. Also, my tolerance had gotten fairly high, and I could easily drink an entire tax return in one summer. So, as one can imagine, the expectation was for a difficult month.” – Nathalie Vassallo.

She details the struggle in the beginning, her craving for sugar, the craving that didn’t last long. She mentions that “having someone with you for the ride makes a huge difference”. This is a good point. When trying to make a change, especially a change such as this, it is harder to make that change if you are still surrounded with that which you are trying to rid yourself of. “It is much easier to toast with seltzer if with a sober companion.”

Nathalie wrote, “…it was my girlfriend’s observation on contemporary social customs that compelled me to write. To her, the most relevant of the changes was the fact that she had not been socializing with her friends nearly as much since the beginning of our sobriety project.”

That’s something. Is it the inability to resist? Not wanting to be tempted? Wanting to get away from that world as a whole? Do they not want the sober one around? Or is it the sober one’s decision to stay away?

“There is nothing wrong with going out for drinks with friends. The issue is when that becomes the only method to socialize.” – Nathalie Vassallo.

And that’s a huge point.

A few drinks every now and again to feel that special way, but that way isn’t the only way, and it’s not the best way. Not being able to go out and be social without drinking, not good.

Get high every now and then, go ahead. Not being able to go out and be social without smoking, not good. And desperation is something in itself, but going broke to smoke a blunt is… ridiculous.


Need It. Gotta Have It. Really?

There is the issue of spending excessive amounts of money on the unnecessary. There is the issue of not being able to function without it, not being able to feel a sense of pleasure or happiness while sober. There are issues that weave in and out of the two, issues surrounding, and hovering next to.

Let me start by saying that I enjoy the feeling I get after consuming a few drinks. And I understand the feeling that people get when smoking marijuana. I also understand the problems with alcoholism, and that is a serious issue within itself.

I am not an alcoholic, I can live a full and pleasureful life without drinking. But there are many people that I know without the addictive illness considered with alcoholism, who seem to feel as though social gatherings must occur with the company of drinks. And I don’t understand. The same goes with those who need the company of marijuana.

Smoke sessions have become familiar to me. This is not because of the fact that I smoke — because I don’t — but because of the fact that many of the people I am associated with smoke. Smoke session “here” one day, smoke session “there” the next day.

How about we go to the park? Let’s go to the movies. Sober.

I have watched people scramble to find a few dollars in order to be able to buy a blunt, but when asked to participate in any other sort of social activity, they’re “broke”. Oh, but you’re not too broke to smoke.

No one every wants to eat with me. Ten dollars is too much to spend on a meal, the dollar menu suits just fine, but surely a .5 for 10 is great.

“I won’t eat, but i’ll come with you. Let me smoke first.”

As for alcohol, I myself have had to look back on my life and my spending. $20-$30 on a bottle, or maybe just a few dollars on a 40 oz. adds up!

Now, there’s the whole “to each his own”. I have had many conversations about what people would rather spend their money on. Most of my money goes to food and gas. That’s because I love to eat, and I love to go places, see people, and what not. And then there are those who love to smoke.

I see no problem with people who smoke and those who drink. If I did, i’d be a hypocrite. So long as this does not cause any kind of problems, social problems, financial problems.

Now, I have recently been introduced to “roach blunts”. This is a pretty interesting idea, a good way to conserve. HOWEVER, when I see people flipping cushions, checking pockets, and what have you, looking for roaches to make a full blunt, or pack a bowl, I gain a sense of concern.

Like, it’s that serious?

The Follow Up. Labels.

I previously raised the question of why there is an unwillingness to be completely open with sexual orientation, in reference to my last post. Now, this is from the topic of bisexuality, but it could be applied to others.

“I’ve had people very close to me say that every bisexual person they know, including myself, is simply biding their time until they come out fully, entering in to a same-sex relationship while not ready to come out as gay, that it’s simply an easy “in-between” phase.” – Kathryn Lamble, The Big B.

I found an article post by Kathryn Lamble, The Big B, dealing with bisexuality, coming out as such, and reasons for having to come out at all.

Many people struggle with identifying with specific communities, a lot of people deny their feelings, make excuses for things, and go back and forth. Many people even try to say that they are “testing the waters”, maybe just “exploring”.

Coming out, and being comfortable with just being, is a constant struggle that many people face. I agree with Lamble when she says that “in a perfect world” placing labels on our sexuality would not even be necessary. This would eliminate a lot of stress and confusion, and allow us all to just be as we are, comfortably.

“It wouldn’t become a point of preoccupation for people to need to establish which category they can put you in based on your sexuality, gender, race, class status, job, diet… whatever. But that’s not the world we live in. Instead, in the 21st century we have inherited a legacy that still places an incredible amount of importance on labelling. We want to know who is like us and who isn’t, and we want an easy way to do that… so we do it through words.” – Kathryn Lamble, The Big B.

She puts it nice and plainly. This does have a lot to do with people and how much they are too focused on other people — wanting to know who is a certain way, like us, or not. And as for words, I have always felt that people get too caught up on words in many instances, and this is a good example. An easy way to categorize people — through words.

Why is it necessary to make any sort of declaration? Why not just be?

“It’s a beautiful thing that attraction, be that one spectacular night or a lifetime of devotion, often doesn’t discriminate along the lines of sex or gender.” – Kathryn Lamble, The Big B.

Free from One, Bound by Another.

“So ever since I’ve been newly single, I have started to spend more and more time with this girl I used to be friends with. I met her through two of my friends who are lesbians. Not all the way openly, but they date and have for about two years.”

I asked a girl, in her early twenties, if she wouldn’t mind participating in this whole discovery process of finding out what people are holding back and why. I allowed her the time to write down what she said had been weighing a little heavy on her mind, and she gave information on her recent break up with her boyfriend and the result of her initial feelings of sadness, but resulted sense of freedom.

She mentioned the fact that she met this girl while her and her, now, ex-boyfriend were in a relationship. They would hang out as a group, the couple, the girl, and the friends. She always had an interest and attraction to the girl, but never really pursued it.

Since the break-up, she has decided to open herself up to seeing what this girl is about.

“We’ve been texting and talking every day for the last two weeks and going to the bar with our friend almost every night. I told her I liked her, and she took it well. She acted like she felt the same way, so I became really interested.”

She also states that there is a bit of hesitation with the girl wanting to make anything official. The girl is going out of the country in a few months, and doesn’t want to leave anyone behind.

“I still like her so much. Like I would be her girlfriend openly. I want her to stop being so scared though. It could be great.”

It is interesting that she mentions that she wants the girl to stop being so scared because I don’t believe that the girl is the only want with reservations. The fact that she has decided to reveal this portion of information as something that weighs heavy, something that she has been holding in, shows that there is some sort of concern, or doubt — there is some reason as to why she is holding this in.

With this, and the fact that the two friends who introduced her and this girl are not completely openly dating, it raises the questions of why there is any hesitation. Why have they been dating, “secretly” for two years? Why is there this sort of unwillingness to be completely open?

The Beginning.

Hello readers. My name is Aryn. I am a 19-year-old writing student in my third year at the Savannah College of Art in Design. My plans for work after obtaining this degree lean towards the world of public relations. However, I am one who wants to do it all. So who knows what I may end up doing. Dip into the world of medicine? Become a child psychologist? Go on to teaching? We’ll see.

I’m sure you would all love to be informed of my interests. So here we go, my interests include:

Eating spaghetti. Shopping when I know I shouldn’t. Wasting gas. Writing my feelings down – on paper, with a pen. Watching movies. Showing my every emotion through my face. Watching people. Physical contact. Eating potatoes. Making money. Meowing at cats. Listening to people’s conversations. Organizing things. Drinking smoothies, especially ones from Panera Bread and McDonald’s. Babies. Singing until someone acknowledges the fact that I am singing. Doodling. Showing love to random puppies. Spending quality time with my favorites.

Yeah. There’s more, of course, that’s not all there is to me. But there is no time to go through everything. So i’ll leave you all with that beautiful list.

Now. In that list I made sure to include a couple of specific things — watching people and listening to people’s conversations. I love people. I yearn to understand people, and things, and the world as a whole. I am very observant. I have a keen eye and a keen ear.

Here, with this blog, I will be presenting you all with observations, recaps, and accounts of conversations that I eavesdrop on, things that I experience from the times that I take out to people watch. And not only this, but because getting to know people comes from a lot more than what you see through action and words they say, I will be going a little further. I will be collecting anonymous letters from people telling the things that they, for whatever reason, are afraid to say out loud.

Now, let’s get to know some people!